Overcoming procrastination
Mar 25th, 2007 by francis
You can’t click a link on the web without stumbling over yet more advice on how to avoid procrastination. So we at the The Sloth Ethic thought that we would jump on the bandwagon outline our approach to overcoming procrastination, and getting things done. To rush into these things only reinforces your procrastinating tendencies, so we offer a programme that builds across a number of days.
Whatever the issue confronting you is, the first thing to do is to:
Sleep on it.
And then, read a good book for inspiration. Please note that this is not the same as reading books that mark themselves as inspirational. These are to be avoided in the same way that you would avoid someone at an office party who described themselves as ‘a little bit mad’ and ‘a real joker’. ‘Inspirational’ books are written by people whose teeth are too shiny and contain aphorisms that you would be better getting from a Christmas cracker, as at least then you get a hat, and maybe a little plastic whistle, or a very, very small comb that would be handy if you were a hirsute leprechaun. No, read a good novel instead, or better still treat yourself and read a great novel. Take your time over it. Let all that there is to learn in it, and let those lessons echo around in your head.And then:
Sleep on it. Yes, again.Now we’re starting to get somewhere. The next step is
Go for a walk. We’ve got to be very precise here. When we say walk, we mean a saunter. An aimless amble. A delightful dawdle. Set off with no particular destination in mind, and take your time in getting there. Half way through, wander off somewhere else. Don’t think about what it is you have to do but can’t get down to. Think of everything else instead. Stop to say hello to cats. Look at the clouds. Kick through piles of leaves. See how far you can get without stepping on the cracks and being captured by the cracklings and dragged down to the horrible world underneath the pavement where the chairs are made out of dog faeces and the tables are made out of old chewing gum. And under no circumstances, walk quickly.
Consider, for a moment, ‘power walkers’. Think about how they look, power-walking. Does this look natural? Does it look fun? Does it look likely to lead to inspirational breakthroughs and overcoming your doubts to the point at which your whole life becomes a beautiful creative renaissance? Or would it just make you look as if you needed to go to the toilet, right now. By now, you should be starting to forget all about the task that procrastination was preventing you from completing. This is a good thing. So, next:
Sleep on it. Yes, again.
Think about what frightens you. Procrastination is often caused by fear. So think about what you fear. This might be tigers, vampires, clowns, being trampled by a moose, or the existence of a world-spanning plot to restore the Carthaginian Empire. All of these are far more scary than whatever was keeping you from doing whatever it was that you wanted to get done. And thinking about them more, they’re so scary that really, doing whatever it was doesn’t seem so important any more. Not when Hasdrubal, Hamilcar and Hannibal are on the war path. They crossed the Alps with elephants, so hiding under your bed and waiting for you to dangle a leg out is nothing for them. We’re nearly at the end of the programme, now. Next:
Sleep on it. Yes, this again. It’s very important. And then:
Explore creative strategies. Immerse yourself in media. Watch two films, several out of order episodes of Magnum, and a programme about rock gardens, without stopping. Let the barrage of images sooth your mind. Deprive yourself of media. Don’t watch any films, or TV, or read a book. Sit in a chair in the garden, in the sun, with your eyes shut. For a very long time. If you like, you can listen to cricket on the radio, because that doesn’t count as disturbing sensory deprivation, it’s more like intense mindfulness meditation as practiced by gnarled Tibetans bodishatvas, only less easy to get your head around.
Then brainstorm, mind-map, outline and doodle. Throw out idea after idea, about anything that comes into your mind. Most of these will be far more interesting than the original task you were beating yourself up about not doing. So why not do one of them instead? Of course you will. In a while. Maybe. But before you do, we recommend that you…
Sleep on it.
We do acknowledge that unlike much of the advice appearing on the web now about how to overcome procrastination, ours might well result in you not doing whatever it was you were procrastinating about. But the chances are, you won’t be doing it anyway, as otherwise why were you surfing the web for hours to look for information on how to avoid surfing the web for hours?
You didn’t want to do it anyway. You don’t like doing it. You’re not going to do it. And if you follow our advice, you’ll feel much better about not doing it.